Why Men Cheat?

Why men cheat is a million dollar question and the answer might also be quite complicated.

Unfortunately it's way more common than one might think. In today’s day and age, most women encounter cheaters in their lifetime, and usually more than once. And these women are way more numerous than women who are able to date loyal men. And, with a divorce rate hovering around the 50% mark, more than one quarter of the divorced women have even been married to a cheater.

According to a statistics collected in 2014, the highest percentage of divorces in the US are caused by extramarital affairs with family strains.


Although the answer to "do all men cheat?" is a big NO, the answers to "why do men cheat" are rattling. Keep reading you will find enlightening information.

Would knowing why men cheat or have affairs on their women help prevent this from happening?


More importantly would understanding how men's emotional world works when it comes to his expectations from a relationship shed light on why men are only marginally aware of their feelings and tend to eroticize emotional connections.


We will list major reasons why men cheat on their wives and on their loyal partners, but let's review first a few major issues men might experience in their relationship.​

When a man learns to appreciate and value long standing loving and caring relationships, he will discover his adult self and will take a major step in facing any crisis life throws at him, be it emotional, physical, or transitional.

The need for more youthful gratifications that he used to enjoy​ based on his body and sexual encounters will be replaced by a sense of serenity and marital satisfaction.

But this requires a certain degree of consciousness and the capability of seeing his partner clearly and accepting her as she is and for who she is. Man who cherishes his real partner, not the idealized one he could never get, is more able to reach deeper intimacy. And this real intimacy will allow him to match his interior and exterior.

There are in fact countless studies and an abundance of data that reveal what women can do to stop men from breaking their heart. But first we have to understand why men cheat and have affairs.

10 basic motives for men to cheat...

We see it everyday on the tabloids: Famous and successful men who have all the money, insurmountable fame, gorgeous wives, adorable kids, great talent... and they have tons to lose. Nevertheless they cheat on their wives.

Because they are not happy with what they have

Redbook Magazine conducted a poll of cheating men, with a whopping 48% saying unhappiness was the leading reason they strayed. The men surveyed by author Gary Neuman in The Truth about Cheating rated higher, with 92% of men rating emotional dissatisfaction as the number 1 reason.

Because they really didn't mean to, it did just happen

Men like the thrill of the chase, and when a pretty girl starts flirting or paying more attention to them than they are used to, they feel appreciated and this begins an emotional affair that eventually leads to cheating.

The ironic thing here is that when a man says he didn’t mean to, it just happened, he’s telling the truth.

Stories like sleeping with the secretary at the office party after a few cocktails arise from this reason for why men cheat on their wives or on loyal women.

And this is their only way "out"

Even today most men are still the primary source of income in the family, and divorce is expensive and could ruin a lot that a man has established in his life.

If he doesn’t want to divorce, separate assets and deal with custody matters, he will take the easy way out of his unhappiness by cheating on his wife, thus offering him the best of both worlds.

They ARE looking for a way out

TIME magazine author Andrea Sachs refers to this as the Ejector Seat principle. Men use affairs as an excuse to get out of their marriage.

These are the husbands who don’t spend a lot of time trying to hide their indiscretions, because they are secretly hoping she will find out and make the decision to leave on her own.

They don't know what they want

Men will sometimes have affairs when they aren’t sure what to do. Maybe divorce? Maybe not? Having an affair will help them determine if they really are happier with another person.

One of their friends has gotten away with it

When one of their buddies gets away with cheating, this normalizes the behavior for the guy who’s waiting for an escape from his marriage. So, he will see if he can get away with it too.


This might be one of the least common reasons, but it is common enough that we see this on Dr. Phil, Jerry Springer and every other daytime talk show all the time. Their spouse or partner had an affair, and they do so to show them how it makes them feel. Productive? No. But a valid reason men have affairs.

It feeds their ego

We all know that men are the hunters of the world, and they love the thrill of the chase. Getting attention from any woman who they are not married to feeds the ego and makes them feel prized.

If they aren’t getting that attention at home, they are going to keep going after “the prize” until they have conquered the chase.

They look for sexual variety

They seem to be programmed to mate  and be paired with many women. Generally speaking a sexual encounter seems to be mostly a physical act for them which does not require much emotional involvement.

Internet added a new dimension to cheating

Online affairs are on the rise. The anonymity and easy availability of online dating and countless opportunities that cyber world offers  now result in many more spouses looking for confirmation and even love outside their marriage.

First online infidelity starts and might roll for a while in a fantasy world , then the real affairs develops.

Knowing why men cheat won't keep it from happening again.
Because the cheater most likely has a self-control issue but understanding why might help you to realize that it's not your fault.

There are many more reasons and justifications on why men cheat and have affairs. Certainly each individual man’s motive and  need will be quite different as the marriage or relationship he is in.

Usually though, as many leading authors and magazines point out, the main motive why men cheat seems to be some sort of emotional dissatisfaction and an attempt to resolve relationship related issues in sexual escapades.

 A woman should recognize that whatever the motive or drive is for a man to cheat on his wife or partner, it is solely his problem. Not only he's fully responsible of his own actions but he's the only one to blame to have chosen to cheat.

And it is important for a woman to know that a troubled marriage or relationship is nobody's fault and unless both parties put effort into it in a caring and constructive way, nothing could be saved and repaired. Cheating is sure a deconstructive way to go about.

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In this book you will learn:
  • Why men would not commit. And how to become an exception to this rule.
  • How to evaluate men so that you don't get another dud boyfriend again.
  • And much more...