How to Get Him to Commit: Is He Really a Commitment Phobic?
Plain and simple, is he a commitment phobic? Or maybe you have been dating someone for quite a long time and you feel like it's time to take the relationship to the next level but is he not showing any signs of moving that way? Are you wondering why is it taking so long for the man you are dating make any kind of commitment with you? If you're one of those women, there is one basic thing that you have to know: it’s not you, it’s them.
It is absolutely very difficult to deal with a commitment phobic man but if you feel like he's the one, we can talk about some secrets to unlock even the most commitment phobic.
Be mindful that while you're working on how to get him to commit, you might miss out on the signs that he's not the right person for you. This is just a word of caution for those out there who are seeking the impossible relationship.
First off you have to recognize that a commitment phobic man has probably deeper issues than you can see on the surface, nevertheless knowing the secrets we listed below can help you help him take your solid relationship to the next level, that level that you both know you desire.
You see not all men acknowledge or hang on to best things in their lives when it comes to relationships. And a commitment phobic will be even more prone to sabotage his own happiness by not committing to the right woman for him.
Let's review how you can help him to unleash his reluctance to commit:
1. Keep up with attraction: Attraction is the first thing that brings a man and a woman together, The relationship will continue to evolve around it, possibly taking different forms. Never underestimate the importance of attraction even if you've been together for a long time. As your relationship deepens the attraction he has for you will go beyond simple hip-to-waist ratios. You have to make sure that you take good care of yourself and are healthy overall. This is the first step to look good with or without him next to you. But furthermore, he will want to feel proud to be with you, and in order to achieve that you need to constantly strive to look "good" by feeling good about your look.
This is a complete cycle: you look good when you feel good, and you feel good when you take good care of yourself from inside out. Although he will most likely never admit it, when he’s thinking about taking that next step, just like you he’s wondering how you will look next to each other in the years to come and what the children will look like, and most importantly, how you will take care of them. The care you give to yourself is his first persuasion to making that commitment.
2. You're "light" and easy to be with: I am sure you will agree that no one enjoys to be with someone who creates drama, pressure on a daily basis and who makes him sweat over little things all the time. Life has lots of bumps and you have to know how to be resourceful in overcoming those. For him it should be easy and natural being with you. In a way it’s not any different than the way you choose your best friends. It’s effortless and comfortable being with them — you can be yourself with them and that’s why you love them. You are delighted to spend time with them. And when you feel at liberty, you want to share life even more. So, when he feels the same way with you, so too will he.
3. He feels amazing when he's with you: Men are created differently and their ego is quite fragile. He just needs to feel amazing around you. This need will not change even when you yourself would need ton of support while taking care of and nursing your newborn. He will want to be with you more if he keeps feeling awesome around you. Do not underestimate that this is also a number one reason why men cheat—because the person they did commit to stopped doing this for them.
Men's ego button can easily be pushed by anyone, whether they are committed or not. Make sure to push that ego button as often as you can if you want him to take things up a notch and stick around afterwards.
4. He knows and feels that he's making you happy: Since the early days pleasing a woman has been a man’s responsibility, and men regardless of their socio-economic status feel an ego spur and a sense of achievement when they know they have made their woman happy.
We have seen this over and over again that men don't want to be with women who are always complaining around them. The reason for that is that he won’t feel he’s doing a good enough job, so he won’t want to commit,
When you validate his presence in your life by making feel that beyond a shadow of a doubt he is good enough to make you happy and pleased, he will want to stick around and will be willing to take the next step.
5. You are not just like the others: In the global dating scene today algorithm shifted to immediate and instant pleasures without evaluating much the consequences and the next step. You also probably experienced at least once that a man who did and said the right things to you was able to get you in bed, on a date or wherever he wanted.
The man that wants to commit however is most likely looking for a woman that isn’t so easily rocked. If keep your boundaries in tact while menaging to connect with him on various levels, you will help each other to move slowly forward. Remember, answers should not be pushed too soon.
Explain and encourage connection with him, and in the end show him how the connection bridge will lead to a great and lasting relationship. The connection you have will not only take both of you to a successful relationship that is meant to stay, but also will make you very unique, different, and the only one for him. You will just be unlike many women he dated in the past. You'll hear him say to his friends and family "there’s nobody else like her."
6. You have no hidden agenda to share your feelings with him: There is no doubt that women are the emotive group of the species, and men know that very well. We have more will and skills in discussing our feelings. But that doesn’t mean that men don’t have feelings. Unfortunately they just aren’t as quick or capable to express them. When you are able to share your feelings easily and openly with no expectations or pressure, he would be more interested in doing the same.
Make your man aware not only of your strengths but also of your developmental wounds and vulnerabilities. The more you share the more you can work out together. This will not only prevent you from sabotaging your relationship, but also provide him with a comfortable space and secure feeling to open up.
Learn to listen to your partner without reacting so that he can learn to open up and share. Do not play the aloof cool girl, that will make him very uncomfortable and detached in the long run. This is certainly not a kind of relationship he'll be willing to commit.
7. You don't try to convince him hard to commit: Relationship is a balance of attraction, connection, understanding, support and love. And they are not meant to move fast. There are many other variables, some are aforementioned that make a relationship durable. Over time, if the relationship shifted gears towards connection, it means that you have become someone who make him feel amazing and who he doesn’t want to lose. And the same thing goes for you.
Don't just sit him down and make the talk by showing him two options remaining for your relationship. There might be other circumstances but normally this would not work at all. Working on the relationship is your (and his) best bet to commit.
Last word of wisdom
How to get him to commit to you shouldn't be your first concern when you're in a relationship. Because this will not come over night. However it's important to remember that whatever makes us feel good we gravitate towards it. And the same thing goes for your man. If he feels good with you he will want to be with you more. As simple as that.
Even self-professed commitment phobes aren’t really phobic about commitment. it’s just human nature to want to live with one person happily ever after. They are simply afraid of being with the wrong person forever, just like you.
In a nut shell, we can say that getting him to commit is not about planning a special night or having a conversation with him, but it’s more about creating the relationship that makes him feel the way you want him to feel for the rest of your lives together.