9 Steps on How to Get Him Back:
Is That at All Possible?
It's not easy to hear that your boyfriend wants no longer be in a relationship with you. When such a breakup occurs, a woman goes through a wide range of emotions, grief, and heartbreak. When this happens, she right away begins to think of ways to get him back, thinking that the only way to end all of this pain is to win her ex back and get things back on track emotionally.
Although you have to give yourself the time you need to grieve, try not to fall into a trap where your grief becomes your way of living. You also have to put your hurt feelings a side and take some time to reflect on the situation you suddenly found yourself in. You as a matter of fact need to understand whether this is a sudden situation at all or whether there were clues for you to pick up in a more timely manner to restore or change the path of your relationship. No matter what the situation is it's imperative to keep calm and evaluate the situation, your feelings as well as the reasons that drove your boyfriend to make this decision.
First off, if your relationship has lost traction, or you want to win your ex back, you have to know that hope is not lost. By following some simple tools and tricks to make him long for you again, you can not only get him back, but get him back more committed than ever before.
But again before everything make sure in your heart and in your mind that this is a guy that's worth to get back.
A few critical tools on how you can get your ex boyfriend back
1. Do not call or text him all the time: When your heart is broken and you desperately want to reconnect with him, your instincts will dictate you to contact him often so that you can see the light of you two coming back together and in return he won't forget you. But this always seems to be a huge mistake. So let's avoid it. First of all the relief you will get from hearing his voice will be very short, because if he's not polite it will just make you feel even worse. Secondly when you want to contact him so often you will sound and look like a needy person which you are not. Do not show him that you're miserable without him, even though you could feel lost for a short period of time.
And as en extension of this step do not show affection to him if you happen to run into him. He's probably aware of your deep feelings for him and regardless he decided to break up with you. Showering him with affection will most likely have a negative affect on him and will simply reinforce his decision.
2. Shocking! Be agreeable and pleasant about the break up: As crucial as it is to stay out of contact, a little single note acknowledging the fact that this break up is a good and timely thing won’t hurt. This will exactly be the opposite of what he is expecting from you. Wish him the best at the end in a formal but mysterious way might even start triggering his first feelings in him as well. He’s most likely expecting you to beg or act psycho by giving extreme reactions to his decision. Be mindful that those reactions will only remind him why he broke up with you in the first place. When you don’t beg or show him that you CAN live without him, it will actually send a message that maybe he shouldn’t have let you go after all.
3. You do not need any pity from him: No matter how hurt your feelings are do not feel as a victim in this break up. Remember that his feelings are hurt too and he's trying to find a way to recover too. Asking for pity or trying to get him to pity you is not an intelligent way to get back with your ex. No relationship will survive on pity. You should get the respect and love you deserve. Do not agree to everything he says or wants from you. Show him your self-value and ask him to respect it. This will be hard to do when your heart is broken but you have to show him how strong you are in your desires, preferences, choices, and goals in life.
4. Do not focus on what you have lost: Focus instead on what you have to gain from this painful break-up. When we are buried in our grief and when we are fixated on getting that person back in our life, we end up loosing the big picture before our eyes. For example when you do not solely focus on the affection you lost with this person, it will be easier to navigate this unbearable grief. This break is potentially a good period, a re-assessment time, and when you both have recharged, you both will be grown and have so much more to gain when you do come back together.
5. Keep calm when he starts to date other women: Sooner than later he will start to have rebound relationships. It's his way to deal with this break-up and move on. Do not worry, he hasn't forgotten about you yet, he's just having a hard time to cope with it all. Be assured that these relationships will be short-lived as they will not be able to fill the void left by your absence in his life.
6. Go back to your life as an individual and distance yourself from your life as a couple: Use this no contact time to rejuvenate from inside out. Put you energy into the right channel to enjoy your life and being an overall happy person. Just feel great about your life without your ex. Use this time to take care of yourself. Consider the fact that this may be one of the reasons as to why he broke up with you in the first place. He might have felt the pressure that he was the only thing in your life making you happy. Something like that would put a lot of responsibility on him that he may not have felt up to. When you create an awesome and independent life for yourself, it sends him the message that the pressure of your happiness is not
During this recovery period if he tempts to contact you, it's important that you do not get back to him. If he continues in getting in touch with you, tell him that you need not to be contacted for some time. You can respond him only when you feel wonderful and confident about your new life without him. Because only like that he won't be able to hurt you further.
Caution: After the no contact period during which you will recover and become a much more confident and happy person in your own skin without needing anybody else to make you happy, you have to make sure that getting back with your ex is still an absolutely great idea. Keep reading if you are only 100% sure of getting back with him.
7. Try to envision yourself back in the time when you met him: After gaining a new sense of life and being very positive about it, when you start to talk to him again, do not start at the point of the break-up. This is the worst thing to do because this will just remind him and most importantly to you of the pain and the break-up reasons. Starting fresh, like you are dating him again is important at this point. Remember to keep happy, confident and stay mysterious, always look hot, and that it is more important now than ever to impress him into wanting you back in his life.
8. Can you fix what is broken?: Most men won't be able to communicate the real reasons of a break-up. If you're lucky to get any explanation or any insight and the reason or concern was something related to you or your life, fixing it will send the message to him that you are really serious about keeping him in your life. But again remember you are not a doormat either and cannot do everything he requests. Also some of the reasons can’t be fixed so easily either, like distance, or jobs, or even infidelity. What you can do in these situations is show him subtly that you are going on with fabulous things in your life that can be achieved even with barriers like this in place.
9. Are you ready to use the past happiness to your advantage to open up a new dialogue?: If you were in a serious relationship with your ex, he won't able able to forget about you or move on to a new meaningful relationship during this no contact period. After you have successfully gone through a no-contact period, you have already made him miss you. The next step then is to remind him with a little tease of the history the two of you have, about how wonderful being with you was. A little letter saying you came across something that reminded you of an inside joke or a shared special moment along with a pressure-free sweet note will send the message that you are thinking about him, but surely aren’t holding him up to anything. You can sign off saying “Hope you are well, see ya!”. This note enhances the element of making him miss you, even more than he already does.
Do not talk about feelings in this letter and keep it short. Do not mention the break-up and do not open an argument. Just keep it brief and sweet.
He will be pleasantly surprised to meet the new and wonderful you and fall head over heals all over again for you.
A word or two of wisdom
Knowing how to get your ex back is most of time easier than women think. You see men need to take a break from time to time to realize what they have to loose in life. It's much harder for them to deal and understand their emotions in a regular way, so some need to go extremes to evaluate their feelings. When that happens it'd very wise to give them the space and time they need. Make sure not to make it an eternity though, as they might have the tendency to distract themselves very easily especially when they pull themselves out from a relationship.
Going back to dating someone whom you’ve already dated is easy because you already have history, affection and chemistry to draw on, as well as memories to rely on. You know what he likes and what he doesn’t, and hopefully the real reason to why you broke up. If this not a case where there is no love, compassion and attraction left on his part, use those elements to make him miss you. This is the utterly most important tool you have for getting him back—and hopefully more committed than ever.
But no matter what make the right evaluation and ask yourself the basic question: "Should I get back with my ex?". And listen to your heart, sometimes it's better to let him go instead of investing more emotions, energy and time into a relationship that has not potential to survive in the long run.